This Chump’s for You!

Carolus von Linnaeus (1707 – 1778) is credited with introducing binomial nomenclature and hierarchical classification as an organized way of naming and describing organisms and their relationships to one another. Linnaeus, by the way, is known as the father of the modern taxonomy. Taxonomy is typically considered the science of classification.

Binomial nomenclature refers to the use of a two-part name for each species (one name designating genus and one designating species). For example, the domestic dog is in the genus of "Canis" and the species "Lupus," or simply "canis lupus." Beginning with species, each category encompasses the previous, becoming progressively more comprehensive. Typically, a species is defined by the ability to interbreed. Hence, Wolfs and Dogs are in the same species (Canis Lupis). Dogs are a subspecies known as "Canis lupus familiaris."

In all, Linnaeus developed a hierarchical classification system using seven taxonomic categories (AKA taxa – The seven taxa are: Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, and Species).

As an example: Binomial nomenclature and the scientific classification system is a taxonomy that has scaled well, is flexible, and is pretty much universally adopted. However, it is, I agree, not that approachable.

Since we’re talking taxonomies, species, can be further classified, or subdivided, by sub-species and by variations. For example, while all dogs are canis lupis familiaris, within that taxa we have many varieties and breeds, including such things as Golden Noodles, Labradoodles, Australian Cheese Hounds, and the very popular "Who’s a Good Dog."

[This is, in many ways, an example of how a classic and rigid taxonomy can be effectively married with a more approachable folksonomic classification system.]

To my point: I’m a Chump (says Holly of me). Taxonomically speaking, that classifies me as follows:

Genus: "Bozo," Species: "Techno-Geek," sub-species: "Chump" or simply, a "bozo techno-geek chump." Of the chumps, by the way, there are quite a number of variations, including: the Fool, the Gull, the Patsy, the Sucker, and the Soft touch.

[I've had a lot of affirmation for this taxonomy, and how easy it is to use, by the way. I can't count the number of times I've heard people quickly reach a consensus; able to classify me right down to the variant in the blink of an eye… "What a chump" they say. Amazing – and the sign of a good taxonomy is that It's easy to use.]

So, in the genus of Bozos, you have the species of "Techno-Geeks," and the sub-species of "Chumps." As I mentioned, there are five chump variations (fools, gulls, patsies, suckers, and, of course, soft touches). As a chump (and I do wholeheartedly embrace my essential chumpiness [or is that chumpness?]), I prefer to think of myself as a "soft touch," but occasionally (just occasionally) I have been a fool.

Techno-Geeks (and chumps of course) are a true species, as they can interbreed. I have seen proof in the wild. This also usually triggers the perennial question: "Why do fools fall in love?" At the genus level, "Bozos" of course, cannot (and should not) interbreed, or if they do, they produce intellectually sterile off-spring (mules) also known as politicians.